Dinner Table Conversation

Mommy:  They're doing a big expansion at the fancy AJ's grocery store.
Daddy:  Oh.
Mommy:  They're still open while the construction's going on.
Dad:  Hmmmm....how are they doing it.
Mommy:  They're expanding into the stores to the left of the store.
Daddy:  Did the restaurant close?
Mommy:  There's no restaurant on the left.
Daddy:  There's been one for years.
Mommy:  No! No! No!  On the left!  Not the right!
Daddy:   The restaurant's on the left side of the store.
Mommy:  No! No! No!
Daddy:   I identify as a grocery store.   The restaurant is on my left.
Daughter:    (Giggles ........ belly laughs........)
Mommy:  Wha.............!
Daddy:   (Laughter... tears)
Mommy:  Stop! You two!
Daddy:  I identify as a car.  I just parked in front of the grocery.   The empty stores are on my left.
Daughter:  What kind of car?
Daddy:  A Maserati.
Mommy:  Excuse me.
Daddy:  You're excused.

Corcoran's Legion

September 13, 1862 -- NY Times

The Corcoran Legion:

THE FIRST REGIMENT, THE SECOND REGIMENT, THE THIRD REGIMENT, THE FIFTH REGIMENT, THE SIXTH REGIMENT, THE SEVENTH REGIMENT, THE EIGHTH AND NINTH REGIMENTS

The Legion which is to be commanded by the gallant CORCORAN grows numerically every day. The weekly accessions to its force are much greater than the public generally understand, and it is gratifying to believe that the early completion and organization of the corps will be attained in a very short time.

Upon the personal ability of Gen. CORCORAN depends very much, and to the incipient details of the organization he gives his hourly and most careful attention.

We have at various times alluded to the composition of the Brigade, but at no time, we believe, has the entire force been given. There may be additional regiments joined to the corps, but at present there are six regiments from this State, two from Massachusetts, and one from Pennsylvania, making nine in all.

These regiments are not all full; but several of them, in fact the majority of them, will have a thousand men each, before they march to the seat of war.

The First Regiment is the old Sixty-ninth. There is now in the field the Sixty-ninth Volunteers, under charge of Col. NUGENT, formerly Lieutenant-Colonel of the Sixty-ninth New-York State Militia. The officers and men of the regular Sixty-ninth, with the exception of Col. BAGLEY, have volunteered to go again, with the organization of officers as heretofore given in this paper. The regiment has now enlisted 800 men.

The Second Regiment is the one known as the "Fourth Senatorial." Its officers are: Colonel, PETER MCDERMOTT; Lieutenant-Colonel, James P. McIver; Major, George W. Warner; Quartermaster, Walter T. Burke; Surgeon, Dr. Heath. Lieut.-Col. MCIVER was formerly Captain of Company I, Sixty-ninth Regiment, and was a prisoner at Richmond for thirteen months.  The men are of the very best class, and will do credit to the District in which they reside. There are now but 700 of them, though enlistments are being made daily.

The Third Regiment is yet at Buffalo, near which its rank and file mainly live. The men, like those of all the country regiments, are said to be of excellent physique, of intelligence and power. Col. JOHN E. MCMAHON and Lieut.-Col. MICHAEL BAILEY have seen service, and know the value of good officers and good men. There are now about 900 in the ranks, with a fair prospect for the full quota.

The Fourth Regiment is one which sprang from the old Twenty-fifth New-York State Militia, upon its return from service within a few weeks past. Col. M.K. BRYAN, of the Twenty-fifth, is at the head of the regiment, and the official personnel thereof will not vary materially from that of the old corps. Some 500 of the men have reenlisted, and there is every probability that Col. BRYAN will bring from Albany a regiment of which he may well be proud, and which will do the State good service.

The Fifth Regiment is one which is being raised in this City. To its organization Gen. CORCORAN has given much personal attention, and in its success feels a deep interest. Its Colonel is WM. MCEVILY, and the Lieutenant-Colonel is JAMES MOONEY, brother of the fighting Chaplain of the old Sixty-ninth. If the Lieutenant-Colonel is as true as the Father; if his patriotism is as sound, his bravery as unquestioned, and his influence as beneficial, then may the regiment congratulate itself upon the selection. There are already 500 men in this corps.

The Sixth Regiment is known as the Stanton Legion. It has been in camp some time, and has frequently been referred to in this paper. Col. ALLEN, formerly of the First New-York Volunteers, is a good man, a superior disciplinarian and brave as a lion. He is a decided favorite with his men, of whom he has now about 900, and will render a satisfactory account of himself without a doubt.

Is the One Hundred and Sixteenth Pennsylvania Volunteers, under Col. HEENAN. This regiment, which is one of the finest bodies of men ever sent from the Keystone State, was tendered to the General when he was in Philadelphia, and has been, by consent of the Governor and of the Government, attached to the Legion. It numbers 1,040 men, all superbly equipped and efficiently appointed.

Last are two from Massachusetts, which Gov. ANDREW, through Mayor WIGHTMAN, of Boston, has made arrangements to give to Gen. CORCORAN. They are said to be like all the rest of the troops sent from the Old Bay State, and further recommendation need not be desired.

Thus we see that the Legion numbers at this time:

Men. Men.

First Regiment........800 Sixth Regiment...... 900

Second Regiment......700 Seventh Regiment...1,000

Third Regiment.......900 Eighth Regiment ..1,000

Fourth Regiment......500 Ninth Regiment......1,000

Fifth Regiment........500 -----

Total.......................................7,300

Which, if the others recruit up to the full standard, would give him 9,000 good and effective men.

We hear also of other regiments which will probably be attached to the Legion, sufficient to make the force under CORCORAN in the neighborhood of 15,000. Gen. CORCORAN has selected Camp Scott for his encampment, which will, for some time to come be, without doubt, the scene of many an entertainment, and the object of curiosity and interest to thousands of visitors.